Fathering a Hurting World

A sermon delivered to All Saints Anglican Church on
November 18, 2007


I picked him up by the side of the road on a cold and blustery morning. No, it wasn’t a puppy – but in a way he was. I’ll call him Kevin. He was a young man of twenty four who had come to Huntington the previous day with his father for an overnight stay. Now he was going back home, but something was radically wrong with the entire scenario.

First of all, he shouldn’t have been walking down the side of I -64 during rush hour. Second it was cold and he should have had a jacket and a hat – maybe a hoodie. Instead all he had on was a long sleeve T shirt. Third, he had no backpack or other belongings with him. And fourth, he was attempting to walk – without even trying to hitchhike.

Now most of you know that I pick up hitchhikers and that I’m not too put off by scruffy characters. Even so, the above factors caused me to sit up and take notice. Of course I stopped, but this time when I stopped, I was feeling something I don’t normally experience – the almost visceral concern of a father for a son. Besides the fact that I have no sons – only daughters, this young man moved me deeply in the course of a mere cursory glance at highway speed.

When he got in the car, I asked him where he was going. “Beckley”, he said. “I was told this is the right road to take to get there.” That’s right, I replied as he got in. “I’m going to Charleston, so that should get you about half way. But I have to go on into work and Beckley is about 50 miles beyond Charleston. What takes you to Beckley?” I asked.

“I’m going home. Came down here with my father last night and he was going to take me back, but he decided to get messed up on drugs and this morning at 7:00 am he told me he wasn’t going to take me back home…I’ve got to get back to my job, and I don’t have any money, so I only had one choice – Walk.”

“Wow!” I exclaimed, half in admiration and half in amazement. “Were you planning to walk all the way to Beckley?”
“Yup”
“Wow. So what kind of work do you do?
“I work for McDonald’s”
“And you were going all the way back today just so you wouldn’t miss work?”
“Yup, I couldn’t afford to lose my job. I only make $6.75 per hour, but I need the money.”

He went on to explain that his parents were both involved in drugs, that they had all previously lived in Florida, and that one day when he was 13, his mother and father suddenly left him all alone – and didn’t return until he was 21!

Most amazingly, he had somehow managed to find work on a nearby farm and scrape together enough money to make the house payments and the utility bills. He also continued to go to school, graduating when he was 18! Talk about a Super Kid!

Of course, I expressed my complete amazement, to which he replied, “ Yeah – I didn’t lose the house until they came back. They got divorced shortly after they came back, and the house went back to the bank. I figure I’ve paid about $70,000 over the years, and lost it all. I guess I’ve given my parents one too many chances this time.”

This last comment struck me – Given your parents too many chances! They’re supposed to take care of you, to create safety and security for you and to help you know God! But instead of doing all these noble things, they acted like spoiled children and you had to grow up when you were 13. And somewhere inside there’s a child that still wants his parents to love and nurture him! Again, totally amazing.

We were now about half way to Charleston. I had just enough time to get to work comfortably – and no dollars in my wallet (plastic has become way too easy to use). But at this point, I was hooked. He was the same age as my middle daughter, and he had been abandoned by his father and mother. There was no way I was going to let him walk from Charleston to Beckley – so I took him on to the Greyhound Bus station and he nervously agreed to let me buy him ticket to Beckley.

The only problem was that the bus wouldn’t leave until about 3:30, some 6 hours away. Fortunately the bus depot is only a block from the Town Center mall – and a couple more blocks from a movie theater, so I showed him around the several block area, gave him enough money to see him through the day, and wished him well.

He had a sort of chagrined and embarrassed look on his face as got out of the car, but before he went, he thanked me. It was the look of someone who was accustomed to being independent but had no choice but to accept the “kindness of strangers”.

Turning Hearts
The entire encounter put me in mind of our Scripture from Malachi this morning, “… he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction” (Mal. 4:6).

The prophet was talking about the coming of about what would happen when Jesus the Messiah showed up on the scene: namely, John the Baptist would appear and announce him – and then the ministry of Christ would cause this wonderful turning of hearts to occur. But many would also reject the message and would fall under judgement. It sounds very contemporary in many ways.

Today, in our land, one of the single most pressing problems facing us – especially in the black community is fatherlessness. Irresponsible men like Kevin’s father leave their children with their mothers (sometimes the mothers leave too!) and abandon their kids to an indifferent upbringing. I’ve said this before, but it behooves us to remember that the illegitimacy rate in the black community is near 80%. In much of the white community it is as high as 50%. Friends, this phenomenon has definite consequences!

Do you also recall that we talked about the percentage of people who do not attend church regularly? That figure too is 80% or better. It’s the majority of people today who have left the church and see no reason to worship God. Is it a coincidence that both these phenomena are occurring together?

I don’t think so.

Psychologist Paul Vitz is the author of a fascinating book called Faith of the Fatherless: The Psychology of Atheism. In this book, Vitz explains how Freud put forward the theory of Projection i.e.: “God is a projection of our own intense, unconscious desires.” (pg.6), and turns this notion on it’s head, suggesting that Atheism is itself a mirror image of this theory. In other words, Nonbelief in God is a projection of a person who experienced a weak, ineffective or abusive father growing up, and then who in turn rejects God because of the bad experience.

Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin and Mao Tse Dung are all shown to have had physically abusive, distant or cruel fathers, while Albert Schweitzer, GK Chesterton and Dietrich Bonhoffer are all shown to have had close and lovingly involved fathers.

There are of course, other intervening variables such as birth order, philosophical and political trends and the differences that father absence has on males and females. But in general, the theory seems to hold that having a bad father leads to the rejection (by males) of the God principle, and the resultant substitution of an equally vivid belief in some other belief system, such as communism or facism. For men, God seems to embody the principles of right and wrong, good and evil. So the lack of a good father leads to a search for an alternate organizing principle.

In girls, having a bad father seems to lead to the rejection of the Father relationship and the tendency to substitute another equally vivid Relationship for that of the Father. Often this is expressed through lesbianism and the embrace of Feminism as a rejection of the bad patriarchal father. The abuse of the father relationship leads to rejection of the father’s authority.

This pretty much sums up what we see in our culture today. Millions of people have rejected traditional religion because they have had weak, abusive or absent fathers. They have not experienced their father’s heart being turned towards them and their hearts being turned towards their fathers. This tragic lack of love results in much violence, in gangs substituting for fathers and in people being unable to fathom the concept of God The Father. As a result, we have fallen under God’s judgment – namely that we have reaped the results of rejecting God and the very foundations of our culture are at risk today.

The Challenge and Dilemma

What’s a nation and a church to do then? …Quite simply, we must find ways of bringing the Father’s Love to the people who need it most. We do this by showing God’s Love to the people we encounter day by day.

When I picked up Kevin, my father’s heart was moved to compassionate action because of God the Father’s seeking love for the world. After observing his situation and listening to his story, there was no way I was going to allow him to try to walk to Beckley! Admittedly, hanging out at the mall and riding the bus may not have been the greatest experience in the world, but then again, I seem to remember my daughters hanging out at the mall for many hours – so it can’t be that bad.

At any rate, at the risk of holding up my own actions as praiseworthy, I use this story as an example of how we can bring the Love of Father God into a desperate world. And I think there are some principles to be drawn out here.

1) Open Your Eyes
All you have to do is open your eyes and pay attention to what you see. Needs are all around us; they will present themselves to us if we but attend.

2) Be Available
We must be available. Not only must we attend, but we must then be available to the Lord to be an instrument of his peace to those we come in contact with. Each day, renew your availability for God to use as Wishes.

3) Listen. Open the ears of your heart and listen for the still small voice of God telling you what to do. If you don’t know what to do, just stop until you have a clue. If you ask for wisdom, God will give it to you generously and without reproach.

4) Do whatever he tells you. This is what Mary the mother of Jesus told the servants at the wedding of Cana: “Do whatever he tells you to do.” After you hear the plan, take action to alleviate the suffering you have become aware of. This action is often very simple: Listen to someone talk for a while, take them to the bus depot, buy a ticket for them to get home, give them some money for a cup of coffee. The list could go on and on, but the basic point is to bring the Deep Love of God the Father to a hurting world.

Acting in this way, anyone can be a ‘father’ to the world. Although we value spiritual gifting and we want to draw out everyone’s unique individual gifts, still the basic principle is that we all have the ability to be God’s hands and feet to the world. We can all help to protect the weak, the powerless and the oppressed like Kevin.

Will we respond?
I wonder if we can respond to this challenge? This coming week, are you willing to Open your eyes, to Make yourself available to the Lord, to Listen to Him and to act on His behalf? If you are, look for an opportunity, respond to it and then tell your small group about it, or bring the story here and tell us what happened.
This is how we will bring the Love of Jesus to our hurting world.

May God give us grace to apply what we have heard. AMEN.