In honor of the birth of baby Benjamin, here is a series of posts about children and their emotional development:
Gary Smalley and John Trent have written about children's needs for blessing, and how devastating it is when a child does not receive blessing. What is the blessing? To express it as a formula: " Love +Boundaries = Blessing."
In other words, in order for a child to gain a sense of blessing, the parents must provide unconditional love and acceptance along with appropriate boundaries. The setting of boundaries reinforces the message of love by establishing fences around the child; fences that not only keep danger out, but help the child know where the safe territory is. The impulse toward blessing seems to be innate and God-given. Some people go to their graves never having received a blessing, but trying nevertheless to get it. In the presence of Blessing, children can become healthy Persons in Christ, whole individuals. The following schema, based on the work of John Bowlby describes this process:
ATTACH →→→ SEPARATE →→→ INDIVIDUATE
Monday, January 30, 2006
Attachment and Individuation
The first "task" an infant must accomplish in the world is to securely attach to mother. This is exemplified by the child nursing at the mother's breast, a picture of intimacy and security par excellence. If mom is a "good-enough" mother, the child is able to establish a deep sense of well-being, and in its heart a symbol of mother-love is created. There is virtually no sense of separate identity apart from Mom. Attachment to Dad follows, and creates a symbol of protective father-love as well. If all goes smoothly, the child's internal symbolic system contains wholesome images of mother and father, love and boundaries, safety and security. The child can then go on to separate its identity from mother and father.
This process can easily be observed in toddlers, who when exposed to a new situation cling to mother initially and then later venture out to explore their environment. If frightened the child runs to mother for reassurance. She comforts him and he soon calms down and goes of on his own again. Eventually the child gains mastery of the new environment. (Some young ones repeat this process into their thirties and forties!)
During separation from mother, father becomes very important. His job is to come in between mother and child and help the child to gain a unique sense of competence and uniqueness apart from Mom. This is a process which continues through the teen years, culminating in Individuation and self-acceptance in the early twenties for most young people. If all has gone well, the young person's deep heart or symbolic system will contain loving symbols of both same- sex and opposite-sex parents. The young man or woman will successfully identify with same sex and also complement the opposite-sex comfortably. He or she will be ready to launch out into the world, find a spouse and establish a new family.
This process can easily be observed in toddlers, who when exposed to a new situation cling to mother initially and then later venture out to explore their environment. If frightened the child runs to mother for reassurance. She comforts him and he soon calms down and goes of on his own again. Eventually the child gains mastery of the new environment. (Some young ones repeat this process into their thirties and forties!)
During separation from mother, father becomes very important. His job is to come in between mother and child and help the child to gain a unique sense of competence and uniqueness apart from Mom. This is a process which continues through the teen years, culminating in Individuation and self-acceptance in the early twenties for most young people. If all has gone well, the young person's deep heart or symbolic system will contain loving symbols of both same- sex and opposite-sex parents. The young man or woman will successfully identify with same sex and also complement the opposite-sex comfortably. He or she will be ready to launch out into the world, find a spouse and establish a new family.
Symbolic Confusion
If for some reason Mom or Dad are dangerous, abusive, neglectful, or in some way fail to balance Love and Boundaries, the whole process of emotional development can go awry and instead of attaching securely, separating, and individuating, the child creates defensive barriers against the parents and gets stuck:
DETACH →→→// DEFENSIVE BARRIERS//→→→ STUCK
The symbols of parental love become distorted, resulting in "Symbolic Confusion".
Chronologically and biologically, the child continues to grow but the stuck place remains lodged right where the trauma occurred, waiting for a safer day to resurface. There may be many of these stuck places in a person's heart, spread out over the lifespan at different ages. In a real sense, these places are not in the past because they have not been successfully integrated into the person's life history as an acknowledged part of "me". Rather they remain like open files in a computer system -- running but hidden behind other work. Until these files are accessed, integrated into "my history" and closed, they are still very much Present to the person and there is no deep sense of Blessing.
DETACH →→→// DEFENSIVE BARRIERS//→→→ STUCK
The symbols of parental love become distorted, resulting in "Symbolic Confusion".
Chronologically and biologically, the child continues to grow but the stuck place remains lodged right where the trauma occurred, waiting for a safer day to resurface. There may be many of these stuck places in a person's heart, spread out over the lifespan at different ages. In a real sense, these places are not in the past because they have not been successfully integrated into the person's life history as an acknowledged part of "me". Rather they remain like open files in a computer system -- running but hidden behind other work. Until these files are accessed, integrated into "my history" and closed, they are still very much Present to the person and there is no deep sense of Blessing.
Recycling in Marriage
The impulse for Blessing is strong and persistent. It must be fulfilled -- if not with the dangerous parent(s), then with someone else. Typically, most people will then "recycle" this need for blessing over into another relationship, usually with a lover or spouse, but frequently also with an authority figure such as a boss or a pastor.
Recycling:
ATTACH →→→ SEPARATE →→→ INDIVIDUATE
↑
↑ ---------------------------------------------------------
↑ DETACH →→ ║DEFENSIVE BARRIERS ║ →→ STUCK ↓
↑
↑ ←←←←←←←←← Recycle ←←←←←←←←←←
Unwittingly, the stuck person searches out someone who will be ideally suited to picking up where she left off in the previous dangerous relationship. It's as if we possess a kind of infinitely accurate radar set on "Seek out and Attract", which leads us to the perfect one with whom to work out the past “stuck-ness” The chosen one may seem diametrically different from the one we had trouble with, but upon closer inspection, the person we choose is one with whom we can recreate the past struggle. Our intent is to "get it right" this time; to win over the one who failed us and to finally receive the Blessing. In effect, we ask the question: "Are you my Mommy?" or: "Are you my Daddy?" This is Transference, the tendency to recycle the dynamics of a past relationship into a present relationship. It often results in what one of my clients calls "a marriage made in neurotic heaven".
Recycling:
ATTACH →→→ SEPARATE →→→ INDIVIDUATE
↑
↑ ---------------------------------------------------------
↑ DETACH →→ ║DEFENSIVE BARRIERS ║ →→ STUCK ↓
↑
↑ ←←←←←←←←← Recycle ←←←←←←←←←←
Unwittingly, the stuck person searches out someone who will be ideally suited to picking up where she left off in the previous dangerous relationship. It's as if we possess a kind of infinitely accurate radar set on "Seek out and Attract", which leads us to the perfect one with whom to work out the past “stuck-ness” The chosen one may seem diametrically different from the one we had trouble with, but upon closer inspection, the person we choose is one with whom we can recreate the past struggle. Our intent is to "get it right" this time; to win over the one who failed us and to finally receive the Blessing. In effect, we ask the question: "Are you my Mommy?" or: "Are you my Daddy?" This is Transference, the tendency to recycle the dynamics of a past relationship into a present relationship. It often results in what one of my clients calls "a marriage made in neurotic heaven".
Marrying to fulfill Unmet Needs
If a couple marries to fulfill the unmet need for blessing, they soon discover that they're not getting the blessing and are not likely ever to get it. They begin to panic and often divorce within several years. If they endure past the critical 5 -7 year mark however, they can usually struggle along for nine or ten more years. Why? Because they're usually so busy raising kids, they don't have time to deal with these issues in any concerted way. But after 16 - 18 years of married life, the children have grown up enough that they don't require such constant care, and one or both of the partners begins to look around and ask if they are happy or not. At age 35-40, it's starting to get late in the game, but not too late to fantasize about finding someone who can actually give us what we want. The open files start asserting themselves, and when our spouse or lover proves unable to resolve and close them for us, we begin to look around for someone who we think can help us.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
Waiting for Benjamin
This is the Morgan family: our daughter Leah, son Lewis and husband Scott.
For the last nine months we have all been looking forward to the arrival of Benjamin Archer Morgan. Tonight Leah labors to deliver Bejamin. He's a week overdue and the doc said It's time for him to be delivered! So we wait in anticipation for the blessed event. Time goes so slowly in the middle of the night when you are waiting for something exciting. It's the grown-up version of waiting for Christmas morning.
Hope to post pics of Ben soon.
Benedict's 12-Steps & Suffering
Twelve-step recovery programs have become very popular today, but very few people realize that Benedict created the first twelve-step program. Chapter Seven of the Rule is his treatise on Humility. Using the image of a ladder Benedict shows us how … "we go up by humbling ourselves and down by praising ourselves". "The ladder", he says, "represents our life in the temporal world; the Lord has erected it for those of us possessing humility. We may think of the sides of the ladder as our body and soul, the rungs as the steps of humility and discipline we must climb in our religious vocation."
Step Four is reached when one "in obedience, patiently and quietly puts up with everything inflicted on him. Whether these are painful, unjust or even against his nature, he neither tires nor gives up, for the Scripture says, 'Only he who perseveres to the end shall be saved' (Mt. 10:22) and 'Let your heart be comforted, and expect the Lord' (Ps. 27:14)".
This is a very different attitude toward suffering than what we commonly encounter today. Our culture has lead us to expect that life will be easy, that accomplishment will come naturally, and that suffering is a sign that something is radically wrong. We have virtually no categories for patient suffering under trial because we really believe that we are not supposed to suffer. "God wants us to be happy" say many of my clients. If they're not happy, it's either because something is wrong with God, or because someone else is responsible for their unhappiness. Almost never is there a sense that this present trial may help me in my journey toward becoming more like Christ. We have simply lost the understanding of how suffering aids us in our spiritual journey.
Twelve-step recovery programs have become very popular today, but very few people realize that Benedict created the first twelve-step program. Chapter Seven of the Rule is his treatise on Humility. Using the image of a ladder Benedict shows us how … "we go up by humbling ourselves and down by praising ourselves". "The ladder", he says, "represents our life in the temporal world; the Lord has erected it for those of us possessing humility. We may think of the sides of the ladder as our body and soul, the rungs as the steps of humility and discipline we must climb in our religious vocation."
Step Four is reached when one "in obedience, patiently and quietly puts up with everything inflicted on him. Whether these are painful, unjust or even against his nature, he neither tires nor gives up, for the Scripture says, 'Only he who perseveres to the end shall be saved' (Mt. 10:22) and 'Let your heart be comforted, and expect the Lord' (Ps. 27:14)".
This is a very different attitude toward suffering than what we commonly encounter today. Our culture has lead us to expect that life will be easy, that accomplishment will come naturally, and that suffering is a sign that something is radically wrong. We have virtually no categories for patient suffering under trial because we really believe that we are not supposed to suffer. "God wants us to be happy" say many of my clients. If they're not happy, it's either because something is wrong with God, or because someone else is responsible for their unhappiness. Almost never is there a sense that this present trial may help me in my journey toward becoming more like Christ. We have simply lost the understanding of how suffering aids us in our spiritual journey.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Woman Loves Man, Is Surprised
Yesterday, a female staff member at work asked me to pray for a man she had been dating. This man was highly intelligent, talented and witty, but he also seems to have quite the ego. “Would I”, she asked, “Pray for him to receive some humility?”
A chuckled a bit, but before I could respond she went on to tell me more about the relationship: how she had been corresponding and talking to this man for many months, how she had met him for a very enjoyable weekend, but also how he had infuriated her with several offensive ‘know-it-all’ comments that had finally caused her to back off the relationship.
Strangely, however, after several months of not communicating with him, there was something about this man she couldn’t put out of her heart and mind. She felt she really loved him, despite his masculine arrogance, and that he had really spurred her to become a better person. Moreover, she was beginning to realize that she was really expecting too much out of a man - that a big ego usually comes with the kind of talent and intelligence she expects in her ideal mate. Not only that but there is even something good and desirable about the “undesirable” masculine traits. Namely, that they crash up against her own feminine self-righteousness and provoke change and self-examination within her. There is something complementary and even cosmic about the differences which is to be respected and embraced, even when one is exasperated about it.
The conversation was something of a revelation to me. It was like watching a flower unfold. This woman who had been divorced and single for some 20 years, had spent those years in angry reaction against unbridled masculine power and insensitivity. Yet, here she was, after all this time, coming to the realization that to have a real relationship means accepting a real man, masculinity and all. There is a divine challenge built into the differences between the sexes, which if embraced, leads to growth and development in both man and woman.
“I feel like I’m only about an inch or so away from getting it,” she confided, measuring the distance with her thumb and first finger. “ And by the way, I suppose I’m really asking you to pray for me,” she said with a smile of self-awareness”. To me, my friend is a feminist coming full circle, a hurt woman who has grown far enough to realize she’s up to the challenge of living and loving a man – masculinity and all.
Yesterday, a female staff member at work asked me to pray for a man she had been dating. This man was highly intelligent, talented and witty, but he also seems to have quite the ego. “Would I”, she asked, “Pray for him to receive some humility?”
A chuckled a bit, but before I could respond she went on to tell me more about the relationship: how she had been corresponding and talking to this man for many months, how she had met him for a very enjoyable weekend, but also how he had infuriated her with several offensive ‘know-it-all’ comments that had finally caused her to back off the relationship.
Strangely, however, after several months of not communicating with him, there was something about this man she couldn’t put out of her heart and mind. She felt she really loved him, despite his masculine arrogance, and that he had really spurred her to become a better person. Moreover, she was beginning to realize that she was really expecting too much out of a man - that a big ego usually comes with the kind of talent and intelligence she expects in her ideal mate. Not only that but there is even something good and desirable about the “undesirable” masculine traits. Namely, that they crash up against her own feminine self-righteousness and provoke change and self-examination within her. There is something complementary and even cosmic about the differences which is to be respected and embraced, even when one is exasperated about it.
The conversation was something of a revelation to me. It was like watching a flower unfold. This woman who had been divorced and single for some 20 years, had spent those years in angry reaction against unbridled masculine power and insensitivity. Yet, here she was, after all this time, coming to the realization that to have a real relationship means accepting a real man, masculinity and all. There is a divine challenge built into the differences between the sexes, which if embraced, leads to growth and development in both man and woman.
“I feel like I’m only about an inch or so away from getting it,” she confided, measuring the distance with her thumb and first finger. “ And by the way, I suppose I’m really asking you to pray for me,” she said with a smile of self-awareness”. To me, my friend is a feminist coming full circle, a hurt woman who has grown far enough to realize she’s up to the challenge of living and loving a man – masculinity and all.
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Communion and the Flow of History
Communion is the unifying theme of History. Our communion with God is at first unbroken and pure, then fractured through Sin, then Redeemed but still subject to the Sin nature. Finally, Communion will be gloriously recreated in the New Heaven and Earth. Thus it is the essence of the believer's Blessed Hope.
Notice however, that the "price of admission" is suffering. The Fall introduced suffering and sickness because of sin. But Jesus' death effected our Redemption and began the restoration of all things. Now after the cross we are still forced, however, to come to God through the body and blood of Jesus. We must drink pain and suffering in order to enjoy the sweetness of His love for us.
Communion is the unifying theme of History. Our communion with God is at first unbroken and pure, then fractured through Sin, then Redeemed but still subject to the Sin nature. Finally, Communion will be gloriously recreated in the New Heaven and Earth. Thus it is the essence of the believer's Blessed Hope.
Notice however, that the "price of admission" is suffering. The Fall introduced suffering and sickness because of sin. But Jesus' death effected our Redemption and began the restoration of all things. Now after the cross we are still forced, however, to come to God through the body and blood of Jesus. We must drink pain and suffering in order to enjoy the sweetness of His love for us.
"Mere" Symbols and "Participatory" Symbols
Every major corporation has a logo, or symbol to 'bind up' its corporate identity for us, and they spend millions of dollars in research to determine what these symbols conjure up to us consumers. Think for instance of the Nike logo, or the Golden Arches of McDonald's. These symbols communicate subliminally and even viscerally to us of the essential reality they stand for. Nations understand this and strive to choose noble symbols to represent themselves. We pledge allegiance to the flag ..." and to the Republic for which it stands..." knowing that the flag is not an object of worship in itself, but that it effectively contains, in visual shorthand, all the patriotism due our country. We accept without question the concept that the flag is a sign which points to a larger reality beyond itself. It is tempting to consecrate the flag as a holy object of our civil religion, and even to desire to punish those who would misuse this precious symbol of our national life. To a large degree, we accept this impulse toward veneration as right and good.
However, when it comes to religious symbols, we become suspicious and agitated, largely I believe, because we don't understand the nature of symbols. Mark Pearson, in his book "Christian Healing", has made a helpful distinction between a "mere" symbol and a "participatory" symbol. A mere symbol says Pearson, is something that stands for something else; for instance the flag in our previous example. The crosses that hang in many sanctuaries are also "mere" symbols -they point to the reality of salvation, but no power inheres in the cross itself. The word "sign" has also been used to convey this idea of pointing to something else beyond the sign itself.
A participatory symbol, however, both stands for something and is the thing itself. A dollar bill stands for the treasury of the United States, but is also a medium of exchange that allows us to trade for goods and services; we participate in its value. In like manner Sacraments are participatory symbols; they both signify something and allow us to participate in it at the same time. By definition they are: ..." outward and visible symbols of an inward and spiritual reality, and sure and certain means of grace." Baptism both shows that we have entered the kingdom and ushers us into the Kingdom as we are covered by the water of death and rise to walk in newness of life. When we use anointing oil in healing prayer the oil has no medicinal value but it both signifies the presence of the Holy Spirit and allows us to participate in His presence.
The mystery of the Sacraments is that common, mundane things convey timeless, eternal truths. If we take this to its logical conclusion, we realize that Christians are really sacramental as well. We are mundane - ashes to ashes, dust to dust - but we have this treasure (the Holy Spirit) in vessels of clay, causing us to be "outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual reality". In the Communion table then, we have a double symbolism. The bread and wine are the symbols of Christ's incarnation and sacrifice, while our bodies are the symbols of His new incarnation - the mystical Body of Christ through which we participate in Kingdom Life.
Every major corporation has a logo, or symbol to 'bind up' its corporate identity for us, and they spend millions of dollars in research to determine what these symbols conjure up to us consumers. Think for instance of the Nike logo, or the Golden Arches of McDonald's. These symbols communicate subliminally and even viscerally to us of the essential reality they stand for. Nations understand this and strive to choose noble symbols to represent themselves. We pledge allegiance to the flag ..." and to the Republic for which it stands..." knowing that the flag is not an object of worship in itself, but that it effectively contains, in visual shorthand, all the patriotism due our country. We accept without question the concept that the flag is a sign which points to a larger reality beyond itself. It is tempting to consecrate the flag as a holy object of our civil religion, and even to desire to punish those who would misuse this precious symbol of our national life. To a large degree, we accept this impulse toward veneration as right and good.
However, when it comes to religious symbols, we become suspicious and agitated, largely I believe, because we don't understand the nature of symbols. Mark Pearson, in his book "Christian Healing", has made a helpful distinction between a "mere" symbol and a "participatory" symbol. A mere symbol says Pearson, is something that stands for something else; for instance the flag in our previous example. The crosses that hang in many sanctuaries are also "mere" symbols -they point to the reality of salvation, but no power inheres in the cross itself. The word "sign" has also been used to convey this idea of pointing to something else beyond the sign itself.
A participatory symbol, however, both stands for something and is the thing itself. A dollar bill stands for the treasury of the United States, but is also a medium of exchange that allows us to trade for goods and services; we participate in its value. In like manner Sacraments are participatory symbols; they both signify something and allow us to participate in it at the same time. By definition they are: ..." outward and visible symbols of an inward and spiritual reality, and sure and certain means of grace." Baptism both shows that we have entered the kingdom and ushers us into the Kingdom as we are covered by the water of death and rise to walk in newness of life. When we use anointing oil in healing prayer the oil has no medicinal value but it both signifies the presence of the Holy Spirit and allows us to participate in His presence.
The mystery of the Sacraments is that common, mundane things convey timeless, eternal truths. If we take this to its logical conclusion, we realize that Christians are really sacramental as well. We are mundane - ashes to ashes, dust to dust - but we have this treasure (the Holy Spirit) in vessels of clay, causing us to be "outward and visible signs of an inward and spiritual reality". In the Communion table then, we have a double symbolism. The bread and wine are the symbols of Christ's incarnation and sacrifice, while our bodies are the symbols of His new incarnation - the mystical Body of Christ through which we participate in Kingdom Life.
The Healing Symbols in the Lord's Table
At the Lord's Table, we actually enter in to union with our God as His Body on earth. The name itself, Communion, says it: "union with...” At the Table, we draw nigh to God without fear and with expectation that he will "feed us with the spiritual food of the most precious Body and Blood of His Son" (Book of Common Prayer). We truly detach from lesser things and attach to the Higher. Partaking of the Body and Blood of our Lord is the climax of our worship, the epitome of our soul's longing for Him and there is great power in this divine transaction.
For most Protestants, this kind of language is foreign. Communion is often seen as a symbolic memorial service that commemorates Christ's death, but conveys no special power or grace. We have been so trained to view anything symbolic as empty or dead superstition that we don't even really have categories for understanding the Sacraments we partake, much less appreciating a Sacramental understanding of reality. This is a great pity because it means we don't understand the healing power in the Lord's Table, the healing contained in the symbols of our unity with God. "Symbols bind up reality for us", says Leanne Payne. They are part and parcel of our daily life, whether we acknowledge them or not.
At the Lord's Table, we actually enter in to union with our God as His Body on earth. The name itself, Communion, says it: "union with...” At the Table, we draw nigh to God without fear and with expectation that he will "feed us with the spiritual food of the most precious Body and Blood of His Son" (Book of Common Prayer). We truly detach from lesser things and attach to the Higher. Partaking of the Body and Blood of our Lord is the climax of our worship, the epitome of our soul's longing for Him and there is great power in this divine transaction.
For most Protestants, this kind of language is foreign. Communion is often seen as a symbolic memorial service that commemorates Christ's death, but conveys no special power or grace. We have been so trained to view anything symbolic as empty or dead superstition that we don't even really have categories for understanding the Sacraments we partake, much less appreciating a Sacramental understanding of reality. This is a great pity because it means we don't understand the healing power in the Lord's Table, the healing contained in the symbols of our unity with God. "Symbols bind up reality for us", says Leanne Payne. They are part and parcel of our daily life, whether we acknowledge them or not.
The Personhood of the Therapist
One of the things we know about outcomes in therapy is that the person of the therapist is more important than the technique he or she uses. Benedict says; "...he should show them by deeds more than by words, what is good and holy." The Abbot (therapist) is "Christ's representative..." symbolizing the Imago Dei for the Seeker. To be a whole person one-self is the top priority for the spiritual leader so that the un-whole person can interact with us and be re-symbolized themselves. This means different things in different situations. .."In his instruction the abbot should always observe the apostolic rule: "Reprove, entreat, rebuke ( I Tim. 4:2)."..." He should show the sternness of a master and the love and affection of a father....One must be led by friendliness, another by sharp rebukes, another by persuasion. The abbot must adapt himself to cope with individuality..." This again is a difficult task, often demanding more than we think we have to offer. But: "The abbot must always remember what he is and be mindful of his calling; he should know that the greater his trust, the greater the responsibility." A lot rides on our responses to clients, patients or seekers . We are being watched closely and our lives are the open text they will read as they attempt to learn more of God and become whole.
One of the things we know about outcomes in therapy is that the person of the therapist is more important than the technique he or she uses. Benedict says; "...he should show them by deeds more than by words, what is good and holy." The Abbot (therapist) is "Christ's representative..." symbolizing the Imago Dei for the Seeker. To be a whole person one-self is the top priority for the spiritual leader so that the un-whole person can interact with us and be re-symbolized themselves. This means different things in different situations. .."In his instruction the abbot should always observe the apostolic rule: "Reprove, entreat, rebuke ( I Tim. 4:2)."..." He should show the sternness of a master and the love and affection of a father....One must be led by friendliness, another by sharp rebukes, another by persuasion. The abbot must adapt himself to cope with individuality..." This again is a difficult task, often demanding more than we think we have to offer. But: "The abbot must always remember what he is and be mindful of his calling; he should know that the greater his trust, the greater the responsibility." A lot rides on our responses to clients, patients or seekers . We are being watched closely and our lives are the open text they will read as they attempt to learn more of God and become whole.
Leadership Challenges
The task of those in leadership of a community is difficult. Benedict admonishes the Abbot (from ABBA -father), that "He should recognize the difficulty of his position - to care for and guide the spiritual development of many different characters." The role of the therapist is similar. Many different types of characters walk through our doors, from Cenobites to Gyrovagues. Perhaps the most challenging are the Wary Convalescents. Our task is to meet them where they are and to provide a safe structure for working out their relationship issues, rather like a laboratory for life. I often tell new clients that they have the freedom to be a "Bad Patient". By that I mean that it's OK to let down the wall of defense so they can explore their emotional world, specifically their Transferences. Sometimes that means they will be angry with me for not being as available or as understanding or wise as they think I should be. They can feel free to take me to task and we will talk it through, and both of us will grow thought the experience together. Benedict knows this: "To those who understand, he may expound verbally the Lord's directions: but to the stubborn and dull, he must exhibit the Divine commandments by his action in his everyday life."(Ch. 2)
The task of those in leadership of a community is difficult. Benedict admonishes the Abbot (from ABBA -father), that "He should recognize the difficulty of his position - to care for and guide the spiritual development of many different characters." The role of the therapist is similar. Many different types of characters walk through our doors, from Cenobites to Gyrovagues. Perhaps the most challenging are the Wary Convalescents. Our task is to meet them where they are and to provide a safe structure for working out their relationship issues, rather like a laboratory for life. I often tell new clients that they have the freedom to be a "Bad Patient". By that I mean that it's OK to let down the wall of defense so they can explore their emotional world, specifically their Transferences. Sometimes that means they will be angry with me for not being as available or as understanding or wise as they think I should be. They can feel free to take me to task and we will talk it through, and both of us will grow thought the experience together. Benedict knows this: "To those who understand, he may expound verbally the Lord's directions: but to the stubborn and dull, he must exhibit the Divine commandments by his action in his everyday life."(Ch. 2)
Hospitality and Healing
Benedict instructed that "All guests to the monastery should be welcomed as Christ, because He will say, 'I was a stranger, and you took me in'"(RB Ch. 49). The Porter is to greet everyone who comes to the door with the appellation: "Thanks be to God," or ask for a blessing. (RB Ch. 66.) Thus was born the radical hospitality for which Benedictine houses are noted. The monasteries were really the first "Holiday Inns", the first YMCA'S, and the first hospitals. This legacy of hospitality continues to this day and is central to Benedictines.
As a therapist, I think its is important to have this sense of hospitality as hurting people come through the door. If I can welcome them as Christ and listen deeply to their story, I convey welcome and encourage openness and healing. It is this kind of hospitality that Tony Hendra wrote about in "Father Joe, the Man Who Saved My Soul" ( While there does seem to be some controversy about Hendra's story, the portrait of Fr. Joe is still accurate and valid.)
Healing the soul depends upon the freedom to be open and feel welcomed by the person listening.
Benedict instructed that "All guests to the monastery should be welcomed as Christ, because He will say, 'I was a stranger, and you took me in'"(RB Ch. 49). The Porter is to greet everyone who comes to the door with the appellation: "Thanks be to God," or ask for a blessing. (RB Ch. 66.) Thus was born the radical hospitality for which Benedictine houses are noted. The monasteries were really the first "Holiday Inns", the first YMCA'S, and the first hospitals. This legacy of hospitality continues to this day and is central to Benedictines.
As a therapist, I think its is important to have this sense of hospitality as hurting people come through the door. If I can welcome them as Christ and listen deeply to their story, I convey welcome and encourage openness and healing. It is this kind of hospitality that Tony Hendra wrote about in "Father Joe, the Man Who Saved My Soul" ( While there does seem to be some controversy about Hendra's story, the portrait of Fr. Joe is still accurate and valid.)
Healing the soul depends upon the freedom to be open and feel welcomed by the person listening.
Types of Church-Goers
There are four kinds of monks says Benedict in chapter one of the Rule. "First are Cenobites, those who live in a monastery waging their war under a rule and an Abbot."
Second are the Anchorites. These are hermits who have been tested in the monastery and are ready to go out and fight the devil in hand to hand combat.
"Third are the Sarabaites, (the worst kind)." They basically do whatever they want to do and call it holy.
Finally there are the gyratory monks, or gyrovagues, and they are actually "much worse in all things than the Sarabaites." These travel around from monastery to monastery seeking shelter for three or four days at a time and are not under any Rule or authority. They are essentially medieval hobos.
Benedict is clear about which kind is the best - the Cenobites (Latin: Ceno-common, Bios-life). These monks live under the authority of an abbot and a Rule of Life, submitting to one another in their quest to attain communion with God.
If Benedict were alive today and observed the various approaches to church-going he might very well keep the same categories. There are lots of gryovagues - those who wander from church to church consuming its programs briefly and then moving on without entering in to the life of the community. Likewise there are many Sarabaites - those who simply do what they want and make no pretense of really living a Christian lifestyle.
A few claim to be hermits - they don't have to go to church because they can worship God on their own out of doors or at the mall, or whatever. They're not really true contemplative hermits though, because they never actually get down to the business of seeking God. Their claim to hermit status is actually a posture to disguise the fact that they can't get along with anyone.
Lastly there are the Cenobites - those who have committed themselves to building community with each other and finding communion with God in one place.
I would add to this list the Wary Convalescent, one who has been grievously wounded while trying to be a "Cenobite", and is too timid to commit to a body of people. These sometimes look a lot like gyrovagues, but can be distinguished by their basic fear, rather than disdain of community. They are initially attracted but because of their wounded-ness, they either have a hard time committing themselves, or they react against authority structures in an ongoing pattern of approach and avoidance. Their reaction to community life mirrors their relationship with God - hurt and wary.
There are four kinds of monks says Benedict in chapter one of the Rule. "First are Cenobites, those who live in a monastery waging their war under a rule and an Abbot."
Second are the Anchorites. These are hermits who have been tested in the monastery and are ready to go out and fight the devil in hand to hand combat.
"Third are the Sarabaites, (the worst kind)." They basically do whatever they want to do and call it holy.
Finally there are the gyratory monks, or gyrovagues, and they are actually "much worse in all things than the Sarabaites." These travel around from monastery to monastery seeking shelter for three or four days at a time and are not under any Rule or authority. They are essentially medieval hobos.
Benedict is clear about which kind is the best - the Cenobites (Latin: Ceno-common, Bios-life). These monks live under the authority of an abbot and a Rule of Life, submitting to one another in their quest to attain communion with God.
If Benedict were alive today and observed the various approaches to church-going he might very well keep the same categories. There are lots of gryovagues - those who wander from church to church consuming its programs briefly and then moving on without entering in to the life of the community. Likewise there are many Sarabaites - those who simply do what they want and make no pretense of really living a Christian lifestyle.
A few claim to be hermits - they don't have to go to church because they can worship God on their own out of doors or at the mall, or whatever. They're not really true contemplative hermits though, because they never actually get down to the business of seeking God. Their claim to hermit status is actually a posture to disguise the fact that they can't get along with anyone.
Lastly there are the Cenobites - those who have committed themselves to building community with each other and finding communion with God in one place.
I would add to this list the Wary Convalescent, one who has been grievously wounded while trying to be a "Cenobite", and is too timid to commit to a body of people. These sometimes look a lot like gyrovagues, but can be distinguished by their basic fear, rather than disdain of community. They are initially attracted but because of their wounded-ness, they either have a hard time committing themselves, or they react against authority structures in an ongoing pattern of approach and avoidance. Their reaction to community life mirrors their relationship with God - hurt and wary.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Crisis
"Responding to God's call includes a
turning away from what is of lesser value (detachment)
and a turning toward God (attachment)...
Carolyn Gratton
When we think of Crisis, it is common to imagine situations where "push comes to shove" - a job becomes unbearable, a marriage falls apart, a physical illness threatens our health and family stability, or disappointment with God finally overwhelms us and makes a mockery of our fragile faith. In short, we come to a crossroad and must make a change of direction. the actual derivation of the word is from the Greek, "to separate". Vine's Dictionary of New Testament Words also lists some very interesting connotations associated with the word "Krisis" : "accusation judgment and condemnation".
Often, we apply "Krisis" - accusation, judgment and condemnation, toward ourselves and become alienated from others, falling into an attitude of subtle self-hatred. This attitude of self-hatred keeps God at arms' length and prevents Him from healing us. We become our own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury, and executioner all rolled into one. As a result, we unwittingly reject Christ's sacrifice on the Cross and become Self-Sufficient and Self-Righteous, without need of God's grace. Only as we open up our pain in complete honesty with God and ourselves are we able to relinquish our prideful self-sufficiency (detaching from the lesser) and let God do something for us (attaching to the greater).
In contrast, think for a moment about how Jesus handled his moment of Crisis. Being drawn inexorably to the accusation, judgment and condemnation of the Cross, he "set his face like flint toward Jerusalem"..."for the joy set before Him." Remaining centered in his relationship with the Father, Jesus manfully walked into Krisis. But even during his hour of severe trial in the Garden of Gethsemani, and on the cross, when He was wracked with anguish over being separated from the Father, Jesus did not descend into self-pity or angry recriminations against God.
While He pleaded with God, and asked that the cup pass from Him, nevertheless He came to a point of acceptance, realizing it was God's will at stake and not His own. In this action we see demonstrated Christ's utter humility. "He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death"... (Phil. 2:5-8). The difference between Jesus and most of us is that Jesus did not apply Krisis to himself as we often do. He remained free of bitterness, resentment and self-hatred. Now to be sure, Jesus did cry out, "My God, my God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?!" (Mt. 27:46) But notice that his next utterance is to commend his spirit into God's hands. "He trusted in God that he deliver him, if he delight in Him to deliver him".(Mt. 27:43) Even in the midst of confusion and anguish, his center held firm.
"Responding to God's call includes a
turning away from what is of lesser value (detachment)
and a turning toward God (attachment)...
Carolyn Gratton
When we think of Crisis, it is common to imagine situations where "push comes to shove" - a job becomes unbearable, a marriage falls apart, a physical illness threatens our health and family stability, or disappointment with God finally overwhelms us and makes a mockery of our fragile faith. In short, we come to a crossroad and must make a change of direction. the actual derivation of the word is from the Greek, "to separate". Vine's Dictionary of New Testament Words also lists some very interesting connotations associated with the word "Krisis" : "accusation judgment and condemnation".
Often, we apply "Krisis" - accusation, judgment and condemnation, toward ourselves and become alienated from others, falling into an attitude of subtle self-hatred. This attitude of self-hatred keeps God at arms' length and prevents Him from healing us. We become our own prosecuting attorney, judge, jury, and executioner all rolled into one. As a result, we unwittingly reject Christ's sacrifice on the Cross and become Self-Sufficient and Self-Righteous, without need of God's grace. Only as we open up our pain in complete honesty with God and ourselves are we able to relinquish our prideful self-sufficiency (detaching from the lesser) and let God do something for us (attaching to the greater).
In contrast, think for a moment about how Jesus handled his moment of Crisis. Being drawn inexorably to the accusation, judgment and condemnation of the Cross, he "set his face like flint toward Jerusalem"..."for the joy set before Him." Remaining centered in his relationship with the Father, Jesus manfully walked into Krisis. But even during his hour of severe trial in the Garden of Gethsemani, and on the cross, when He was wracked with anguish over being separated from the Father, Jesus did not descend into self-pity or angry recriminations against God.
While He pleaded with God, and asked that the cup pass from Him, nevertheless He came to a point of acceptance, realizing it was God's will at stake and not His own. In this action we see demonstrated Christ's utter humility. "He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a bond-servant...He humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death"... (Phil. 2:5-8). The difference between Jesus and most of us is that Jesus did not apply Krisis to himself as we often do. He remained free of bitterness, resentment and self-hatred. Now to be sure, Jesus did cry out, "My God, my God, Why hast Thou forsaken me?!" (Mt. 27:46) But notice that his next utterance is to commend his spirit into God's hands. "He trusted in God that he deliver him, if he delight in Him to deliver him".(Mt. 27:43) Even in the midst of confusion and anguish, his center held firm.
Work as Inordinate Affection
Benedict speaks to us afresh today, calling us back to our true identities, prescribing balance and sanity as a counter to our fragmented lifestyles, and helping us to see the holy in the midst of the ordinary. We as a culture face a crisis of meaning and identity. To revert back to some old theological language, we could say that the entire culture is caught up in work as an Inordinate Affection - a sinful, idolatrous attachment to a lesser good masquerading as the ultimate good. The Rule directs us to God as the ultimate good and work as a means to that good, thus helping us to fulfill our true vocation.
Benedict speaks to us afresh today, calling us back to our true identities, prescribing balance and sanity as a counter to our fragmented lifestyles, and helping us to see the holy in the midst of the ordinary. We as a culture face a crisis of meaning and identity. To revert back to some old theological language, we could say that the entire culture is caught up in work as an Inordinate Affection - a sinful, idolatrous attachment to a lesser good masquerading as the ultimate good. The Rule directs us to God as the ultimate good and work as a means to that good, thus helping us to fulfill our true vocation.
Benedict and the Careerist
Today, many people find their work fascinating and absorbing in a way Benedict could not have imagined. The Careerist's work is not only professionally fulfilling, but the jobsite now frequently provides a ready source of friends and a culture of belonging that has largely disappeared in other arenas of life. "It even includes non-work categories. And the extent to which we have a "fulfilling career is the extent to which we may regard ourselves as successful." (Your Work Matters to God, Sherman and Hendricks, pg. 28). In short, work has now become the major source of identity and belonging for vast numbers of people. But this very development has created a crisis of meaning for today's secular workers.
The corporate culture is often shallow and mindless. New management techniques for improving employee morale are soon understood as elaborate manipulations to boost profits, and even line workers engaged in technical knowledge-related jobs often labor anonymously at their cubicles like so many faceless androids. The popular comic strip Dilbert cleverly captures the absurdity and cynicism of today's workplace, creating a cult following in the process. Scott Adams, the creator of the strip is convinced that the 21st century will be characterized by technical breakthroughs that will permit people to act stupid and lazy with heretofore unimagined creativity.
Expanded technology and global connectivity will certainly provide workers greater opportunities and creative possibilities, but they will certainly not change human nature or provide answers to the ultimate questions of meaning that give us the why behind the how. This is a vocational crisis at heart. We don't know how to balance our work, because we don't know who we are called to be. It is not surprising then, that in a world changing too rapidly to replace the spiritual capital which propelled the changes to begin with, many are exploring ancient religions and traditions in an attempt to fill the spiritual void created by such change.
Today, many people find their work fascinating and absorbing in a way Benedict could not have imagined. The Careerist's work is not only professionally fulfilling, but the jobsite now frequently provides a ready source of friends and a culture of belonging that has largely disappeared in other arenas of life. "It even includes non-work categories. And the extent to which we have a "fulfilling career is the extent to which we may regard ourselves as successful." (Your Work Matters to God, Sherman and Hendricks, pg. 28). In short, work has now become the major source of identity and belonging for vast numbers of people. But this very development has created a crisis of meaning for today's secular workers.
The corporate culture is often shallow and mindless. New management techniques for improving employee morale are soon understood as elaborate manipulations to boost profits, and even line workers engaged in technical knowledge-related jobs often labor anonymously at their cubicles like so many faceless androids. The popular comic strip Dilbert cleverly captures the absurdity and cynicism of today's workplace, creating a cult following in the process. Scott Adams, the creator of the strip is convinced that the 21st century will be characterized by technical breakthroughs that will permit people to act stupid and lazy with heretofore unimagined creativity.
Expanded technology and global connectivity will certainly provide workers greater opportunities and creative possibilities, but they will certainly not change human nature or provide answers to the ultimate questions of meaning that give us the why behind the how. This is a vocational crisis at heart. We don't know how to balance our work, because we don't know who we are called to be. It is not surprising then, that in a world changing too rapidly to replace the spiritual capital which propelled the changes to begin with, many are exploring ancient religions and traditions in an attempt to fill the spiritual void created by such change.
Prosperity and Cultural Crisis
The Benedictine work ethic carries within itself the seeds of Prosperity, and this in turn produces a crisis in culture. When the Protestant Reformation re-emphasized this work ethic in the 1500's, it revitalized Western Europe and helped create the affluence enjoyed by North America and Europe today. But a funny thing happened along the way. Manual labor metamorphosed from a sacramental expression of holiness into a Thing worshipped for the material stuff it could provide. With technological advances, work also changed from a basic physical necessity into an expression of one's own unique individuality and personal fulfillment, thus creating the concept of the Career.
The Benedictine work ethic carries within itself the seeds of Prosperity, and this in turn produces a crisis in culture. When the Protestant Reformation re-emphasized this work ethic in the 1500's, it revitalized Western Europe and helped create the affluence enjoyed by North America and Europe today. But a funny thing happened along the way. Manual labor metamorphosed from a sacramental expression of holiness into a Thing worshipped for the material stuff it could provide. With technological advances, work also changed from a basic physical necessity into an expression of one's own unique individuality and personal fulfillment, thus creating the concept of the Career.
The Benedictine Work Ethic
Wherever the Rule went, the emphases of manual work, discipline, moderation and learning went also. These ideas, combined with the notion of Stability, produced material prosperity and technological innovation. As the monks practiced their work habits, they developed the arts of cheese making, brewing, wine-making , animal husbandry and the production of surplus farming. They also came to be nearly the sole repository of knowledge, preserving both biblical and secular texts in their Scriptoria. The franchise arrangement was responsible for not only the evangelization of Europe, but also the spread of agricultural and technological progress. Because of the near universal acceptance of Benedict's Rule the, it is not too much to assert that Benedict is really the Father of Western Civilization! For this reason, the "Protestant work ethic" should really be known as the "Benedictine work ethic".
Wherever the Rule went, the emphases of manual work, discipline, moderation and learning went also. These ideas, combined with the notion of Stability, produced material prosperity and technological innovation. As the monks practiced their work habits, they developed the arts of cheese making, brewing, wine-making , animal husbandry and the production of surplus farming. They also came to be nearly the sole repository of knowledge, preserving both biblical and secular texts in their Scriptoria. The franchise arrangement was responsible for not only the evangelization of Europe, but also the spread of agricultural and technological progress. Because of the near universal acceptance of Benedict's Rule the, it is not too much to assert that Benedict is really the Father of Western Civilization! For this reason, the "Protestant work ethic" should really be known as the "Benedictine work ethic".
Benedictine Work and Life
Before Bendedict, people worked to survive, which meant usually from sun-up to sun-down. The idea of scheduled work time did not exist. For this reason Benedict is sometimes considered the father of the modern concept of work itself. Additionally, he insisted that the end of work was that "in all things God may be glorified". Manual work was an opportunity to work "as unto the Lord" (Col.3:23), and to pray contemplatively while working. This combined with the sense that "God's gaze is upon you , wherever you may be" produced a sacramental approach to work.
All the tools of the monastery were to be treated "as if they were consecrated chalices."(RB 31) As such, all work became an opportunity to encounter God, all nature became an outward and visible sign of the eternal Creator behind it, and repetitive tasks such as gardening became as sacred as formal worship. Very importantly however, we find in the same chapter: "Everything should be done in moderation, though, for the sake of the timorous".
"Since his primary goal was union with God, the material results of his work were less important to the monk than the growth in virtue that accompanied them....Refusing to be the slave of the material universe, he became its master. As a result, he moved in serenity. A leisure of spirit marked all he did with the sign of freedom and peace." (Introduction to The Rule of St. Benedict, translated by Anthony C. Meisel and ML. del Mastro). Freedom, moderation, and peace - these are hallmarks of the Benedictine approach to work and life.
Before Bendedict, people worked to survive, which meant usually from sun-up to sun-down. The idea of scheduled work time did not exist. For this reason Benedict is sometimes considered the father of the modern concept of work itself. Additionally, he insisted that the end of work was that "in all things God may be glorified". Manual work was an opportunity to work "as unto the Lord" (Col.3:23), and to pray contemplatively while working. This combined with the sense that "God's gaze is upon you , wherever you may be" produced a sacramental approach to work.
All the tools of the monastery were to be treated "as if they were consecrated chalices."(RB 31) As such, all work became an opportunity to encounter God, all nature became an outward and visible sign of the eternal Creator behind it, and repetitive tasks such as gardening became as sacred as formal worship. Very importantly however, we find in the same chapter: "Everything should be done in moderation, though, for the sake of the timorous".
"Since his primary goal was union with God, the material results of his work were less important to the monk than the growth in virtue that accompanied them....Refusing to be the slave of the material universe, he became its master. As a result, he moved in serenity. A leisure of spirit marked all he did with the sign of freedom and peace." (Introduction to The Rule of St. Benedict, translated by Anthony C. Meisel and ML. del Mastro). Freedom, moderation, and peace - these are hallmarks of the Benedictine approach to work and life.
Manual Work and The Rule
In the 500's, manual work was considered fit only for servants and slaves. The landed nobility simply did not do manual labor. So for Benedict to assert that all the monks from their various backgrounds were equal and all must do physical work was to offend the sensibilities of the wealthy. "If conditions dictate that they labor in the fields (harvesting), they should not be grieved for they are truly monks when they must live by manual labor, as did our fathers and the apostles." (RB 48) Manual work grounds our existence in mundane reality, causing us to remain Humble (from the Latin, Humus for "earth").
In the 500's, manual work was considered fit only for servants and slaves. The landed nobility simply did not do manual labor. So for Benedict to assert that all the monks from their various backgrounds were equal and all must do physical work was to offend the sensibilities of the wealthy. "If conditions dictate that they labor in the fields (harvesting), they should not be grieved for they are truly monks when they must live by manual labor, as did our fathers and the apostles." (RB 48) Manual work grounds our existence in mundane reality, causing us to remain Humble (from the Latin, Humus for "earth").
Opus Dei, Liturgy, and Life.
Benedict speaks counter-culturally into our world when he says, "Nothing comes before the Divine Office" RB CH. 43. Worship comes first and essentially defines who I am as a person. As Psalm 100 puts it,
" Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is he who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture." We find our sense of being and meaning in Him as our Maker, Redeemer and Friend through the "Opus Dei", the "work of God."
Strictly speaking, this refers to the daily round of prayer offices called the Liturgy of the Hours. Benedict followed Ps. 119:164 literally: "Seven times daily I have sung Your praises". He instituted daily times of prayer which trace the themes of our spiritual life through the natural rhythms of the day (RB ch.16). Beginning with Lauds (Praise) before dawn, Prime followed at 6:00 am, Terce at 9:00 am, Sext at 12:00 pm, and None at 3:00 PM. Vespers was observed in the evening about dusk and the day ended at Compline ("to complete"). In addition, there was the Night Office: "I arose at midnight to confess to You" (Ps. 119:62). These services were to direct the monk's attention toward God and encourage union with Him. Indeed, the purpose of monasticism was and is union with God. They also are understood to have a formative effect on the soul. As Dietrich Von Hildebrand says, "The conscious, fully-awakened act of performing the Liturgy imprints upon the soul the Face of Christ" (L&P pg.16).
But this does not mean we are to be super-spiritual and spend all our time in church . The Opus Dei understood broadly is to encompass all we do. Because our true vocation is to live always in relationship with God, the Opus Dei is all of life, not just the formal worship of God. It is all an opportunity to become alert to, and aware of God.
Benedict speaks counter-culturally into our world when he says, "Nothing comes before the Divine Office" RB CH. 43. Worship comes first and essentially defines who I am as a person. As Psalm 100 puts it,
" Know that the Lord Himself is God; It is he who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture." We find our sense of being and meaning in Him as our Maker, Redeemer and Friend through the "Opus Dei", the "work of God."
Strictly speaking, this refers to the daily round of prayer offices called the Liturgy of the Hours. Benedict followed Ps. 119:164 literally: "Seven times daily I have sung Your praises". He instituted daily times of prayer which trace the themes of our spiritual life through the natural rhythms of the day (RB ch.16). Beginning with Lauds (Praise) before dawn, Prime followed at 6:00 am, Terce at 9:00 am, Sext at 12:00 pm, and None at 3:00 PM. Vespers was observed in the evening about dusk and the day ended at Compline ("to complete"). In addition, there was the Night Office: "I arose at midnight to confess to You" (Ps. 119:62). These services were to direct the monk's attention toward God and encourage union with Him. Indeed, the purpose of monasticism was and is union with God. They also are understood to have a formative effect on the soul. As Dietrich Von Hildebrand says, "The conscious, fully-awakened act of performing the Liturgy imprints upon the soul the Face of Christ" (L&P pg.16).
But this does not mean we are to be super-spiritual and spend all our time in church . The Opus Dei understood broadly is to encompass all we do. Because our true vocation is to live always in relationship with God, the Opus Dei is all of life, not just the formal worship of God. It is all an opportunity to become alert to, and aware of God.
Vocation and Work
Sadly for most of us, the relationship between who we are and what we do isn't clear. Mary's situation is instructive: In addition to the several deaths in her family, she also was coping with a major change in her job. This was traumatic because over the years she had come to see her core identity as virtually inseparable from her role as a classroom teacher and coach. Due to cutbacks in enrollment, she was asked to teach a subject she had not taught in many years, and to cut back on her coaching as well. Although she understood the situation, it frustrated her and caused major disorientation in her sense of self-worth. Like many in our society, Mary had entered a major vocational crisis.
In our contemporary world we have come to answer the question Who am I? with what I do for a living. The result is a tragic split between sacred and secular, between being and doing. Degrees, credentials, position and status have become the measure of our worth as people. Consequently, the old hierarchy of values: God, Family, Work, has been turned around and can now be represented by the following slogan: "We worship our work, we work at leisure and we play at worship." Because these core relationships are unbalanced, so too our lives have become unbalanced and disjointed. We are in a crisis as a culture.
Sadly for most of us, the relationship between who we are and what we do isn't clear. Mary's situation is instructive: In addition to the several deaths in her family, she also was coping with a major change in her job. This was traumatic because over the years she had come to see her core identity as virtually inseparable from her role as a classroom teacher and coach. Due to cutbacks in enrollment, she was asked to teach a subject she had not taught in many years, and to cut back on her coaching as well. Although she understood the situation, it frustrated her and caused major disorientation in her sense of self-worth. Like many in our society, Mary had entered a major vocational crisis.
In our contemporary world we have come to answer the question Who am I? with what I do for a living. The result is a tragic split between sacred and secular, between being and doing. Degrees, credentials, position and status have become the measure of our worth as people. Consequently, the old hierarchy of values: God, Family, Work, has been turned around and can now be represented by the following slogan: "We worship our work, we work at leisure and we play at worship." Because these core relationships are unbalanced, so too our lives have become unbalanced and disjointed. We are in a crisis as a culture.
Vocation
"Vocation is a matter primarily of being" says Carolyn Gratton. It is not simply what I do to make a living, but in its deepest Christian sense, our true calling is to live in unbroken harmony with God, just as Adam and Eve did before the fall. Our vocation is to reflect the Imago Dei as we live in covenant relationship with Him. Out of this knowledge of who I am comes the knowledge of what I should do.
Walter Bruggeman states, "Vocation means finding a purpose for being in the world that is related to the purposes of God."
Jesus himself demonstrates this relationship of being and doing in his statements about Himself. As a boy of twelve he says to his astonished parents "Did you not know I must be about my Father's business?" Later he announces his ministry by quoting from Isaiah " The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, To set free those who are downtrodden, To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord." To His followers He proclaims, "I come that they might have life and might have it abundantly...And to the disciples, he says, "I am the Way the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me (Jn. 14:6)...He who has seen Me has seen the Father( Jn 14:9)...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many..(Mt 20:28) Prophesying his death he says, "(the Son of Man) will be delivered to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and mistreated and spit upon, and after they have scourged Him, they will kill Him; and the third day He will rise again (Lk. 18:31).
These statements all show that Jesus' sense of being or identity was intricately linked with his sense of mission in the world. Both of these in turn constituted His Vocation. Expressed in a formula, it looks like this: Identity + Mission = Vocation.
"Vocation is a matter primarily of being" says Carolyn Gratton. It is not simply what I do to make a living, but in its deepest Christian sense, our true calling is to live in unbroken harmony with God, just as Adam and Eve did before the fall. Our vocation is to reflect the Imago Dei as we live in covenant relationship with Him. Out of this knowledge of who I am comes the knowledge of what I should do.
Walter Bruggeman states, "Vocation means finding a purpose for being in the world that is related to the purposes of God."
Jesus himself demonstrates this relationship of being and doing in his statements about Himself. As a boy of twelve he says to his astonished parents "Did you not know I must be about my Father's business?" Later he announces his ministry by quoting from Isaiah " The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, To set free those who are downtrodden, To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord." To His followers He proclaims, "I come that they might have life and might have it abundantly...And to the disciples, he says, "I am the Way the Truth and the Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me (Jn. 14:6)...He who has seen Me has seen the Father( Jn 14:9)...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many..(Mt 20:28) Prophesying his death he says, "(the Son of Man) will be delivered to the Gentiles, and will be mocked and mistreated and spit upon, and after they have scourged Him, they will kill Him; and the third day He will rise again (Lk. 18:31).
These statements all show that Jesus' sense of being or identity was intricately linked with his sense of mission in the world. Both of these in turn constituted His Vocation. Expressed in a formula, it looks like this: Identity + Mission = Vocation.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Marriage & Transference
When we marry, we promise "to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do us part." But unlike Benedict's monks, most of whom left the monastery horizontally; about half of us who marry forsake our vows and walk away, sometimes for better, but mostly for worse. Since the majority of those who marry do not cross their fingers behind their backs when they take their vows, why is it that so many folks are unable to keep these vows of lifelong fidelity? I suggest the answer lies in part in understanding what Freud called "Transference": the attempt to bring the dynamics of a past relationship with an authority figure such as a parent, into a current relationship, such as a marriage. Whom will I marry? After the choice to serve the Lord, this is the single most important decision a person can make, for its consequences will play themselves out for generations.
When we marry, we promise "to have and to hold, for better or for worse, till death do us part." But unlike Benedict's monks, most of whom left the monastery horizontally; about half of us who marry forsake our vows and walk away, sometimes for better, but mostly for worse. Since the majority of those who marry do not cross their fingers behind their backs when they take their vows, why is it that so many folks are unable to keep these vows of lifelong fidelity? I suggest the answer lies in part in understanding what Freud called "Transference": the attempt to bring the dynamics of a past relationship with an authority figure such as a parent, into a current relationship, such as a marriage. Whom will I marry? After the choice to serve the Lord, this is the single most important decision a person can make, for its consequences will play themselves out for generations.
Choices
"A person is a being who possesses himself,
who does not simply exist but who
actively achieves his being
and has the power to choose freely."
- Dietrich Von Hildebrand
One of the most profound qualities of being created in the Imago Dei is that we can make Choices that really matter - either for good or for ill. Benedict recognized the importance of choice in his chapter on the admission of new brothers (58). "Admission to the religious life should not be made easy for newcomers", he says. The petitioner should knock on the gate "and if he shows patience and persists in his petition for several days despite harsh treatment and reluctance to admit him, he shall be permitted lodging in a guest room. After a few days he shall move into the novitiate..."
The novice is then taken in hand by a senior monk and "told of the difficulties and austerities ahead of him on the pathway to God". The Rule is read to him at the end of two months, and he is told, "Behold the law under which you wish to fight. If you can observe it, enter upon the life: if not, you are free to leave." If he chooses to stay, he undergoes six months of testing and hears the Rule read to him again "so he may know what he's getting into." Another four months must pass before he may then be received into the community. At that point, "He must know that he is now under the law of the Rule, that he cannot leave the monastery nor live without the Rule, for he has had time to decide one way or the other." Full admission is accomplished when the novice goes on to take the vows of Stability, Obedience, and Conversatio, writing out his profession and giving up all his worldly possessions.
This is a BIG DEAL and not to be taken lightly. Benedict wants to make absolutely sure that his monks are entering the monastery to serve the Lord single-mindedly and are not enamored of some glamorous ideal of holiness, nor running away from something unresolved on the outside. Probably the closest that most of us get to this type of commitment is marriage, or perhaps applying to a demanding education or military assignment. It's important that we know exactly what we are getting ourselves into. Unfortunately, about half the folks who get married today, don't settle this in the beginning and end up divorced.
"A person is a being who possesses himself,
who does not simply exist but who
actively achieves his being
and has the power to choose freely."
- Dietrich Von Hildebrand
One of the most profound qualities of being created in the Imago Dei is that we can make Choices that really matter - either for good or for ill. Benedict recognized the importance of choice in his chapter on the admission of new brothers (58). "Admission to the religious life should not be made easy for newcomers", he says. The petitioner should knock on the gate "and if he shows patience and persists in his petition for several days despite harsh treatment and reluctance to admit him, he shall be permitted lodging in a guest room. After a few days he shall move into the novitiate..."
The novice is then taken in hand by a senior monk and "told of the difficulties and austerities ahead of him on the pathway to God". The Rule is read to him at the end of two months, and he is told, "Behold the law under which you wish to fight. If you can observe it, enter upon the life: if not, you are free to leave." If he chooses to stay, he undergoes six months of testing and hears the Rule read to him again "so he may know what he's getting into." Another four months must pass before he may then be received into the community. At that point, "He must know that he is now under the law of the Rule, that he cannot leave the monastery nor live without the Rule, for he has had time to decide one way or the other." Full admission is accomplished when the novice goes on to take the vows of Stability, Obedience, and Conversatio, writing out his profession and giving up all his worldly possessions.
This is a BIG DEAL and not to be taken lightly. Benedict wants to make absolutely sure that his monks are entering the monastery to serve the Lord single-mindedly and are not enamored of some glamorous ideal of holiness, nor running away from something unresolved on the outside. Probably the closest that most of us get to this type of commitment is marriage, or perhaps applying to a demanding education or military assignment. It's important that we know exactly what we are getting ourselves into. Unfortunately, about half the folks who get married today, don't settle this in the beginning and end up divorced.
True Masculine and Feminine in the Rule
In the Prologue of the Rule, Benedict exhorts us to "Listen, my son, and with your heart hear the principles of your Master." He wants us to be Aware of our true relationship with God and Alert to his voice. Thus he emphasizes a feminine quality of receptivity. But in the next sentence he stirs us up to masculine action ..."so that through the labor of obedience you may return to Him from whom you have withdrawn because of the laziness of disobedience". To attain wholeness as a person then, we must integrate both the True Masculine and the True Feminine into our souls. Benedict recommended Prayer, Work, Study and Silence as the means to attain such holiness. We would do well to heed his advice so that we may overcome the fourfold alienation of sin, and attain more and more to the state of being an 'undifferentiated Adam'( Donald Joy's phrase), fully conformed to the image of the Incarnate Son.
In the Prologue of the Rule, Benedict exhorts us to "Listen, my son, and with your heart hear the principles of your Master." He wants us to be Aware of our true relationship with God and Alert to his voice. Thus he emphasizes a feminine quality of receptivity. But in the next sentence he stirs us up to masculine action ..."so that through the labor of obedience you may return to Him from whom you have withdrawn because of the laziness of disobedience". To attain wholeness as a person then, we must integrate both the True Masculine and the True Feminine into our souls. Benedict recommended Prayer, Work, Study and Silence as the means to attain such holiness. We would do well to heed his advice so that we may overcome the fourfold alienation of sin, and attain more and more to the state of being an 'undifferentiated Adam'( Donald Joy's phrase), fully conformed to the image of the Incarnate Son.
Submission and the Rule of Benedict
Submission brings us into the kingdom, allows us to be recreated as new creatures in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), bestows on us a new identity that is neither male nor female (Gal. 3:28), yet affirms us truly as men and women, and gives God permission to be at work in us for his own good pleasure (Phil. 2:13). After our initial salvation, Submission is the quality which allows God to Sanctify us, to go on saving and healing us until we become conformed to the image of His Son. To Submit is to Obey, (literally to "listen toward") and Listening is what the Rule of Benedict seems to foster par excellence.
Submission brings us into the kingdom, allows us to be recreated as new creatures in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17), bestows on us a new identity that is neither male nor female (Gal. 3:28), yet affirms us truly as men and women, and gives God permission to be at work in us for his own good pleasure (Phil. 2:13). After our initial salvation, Submission is the quality which allows God to Sanctify us, to go on saving and healing us until we become conformed to the image of His Son. To Submit is to Obey, (literally to "listen toward") and Listening is what the Rule of Benedict seems to foster par excellence.
Bad Idea: Make the Woman Cry
Ted Kennedy and his colleagues on the Senate Judiciary committee just discovered it's a bad idea to make a woman cry. In their attemtpt to destroy Sam Alito through a vicious ad hominem attack, they have found themselves covered in their own slime.
It's time for them to find a new tactic. The one they're using is lazy and dumb.
Ted Kennedy and his colleagues on the Senate Judiciary committee just discovered it's a bad idea to make a woman cry. In their attemtpt to destroy Sam Alito through a vicious ad hominem attack, they have found themselves covered in their own slime.
It's time for them to find a new tactic. The one they're using is lazy and dumb.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
A God-incidence.
Some three years ago, as I was sitting in the Charleston Civic center grand ballroom, waiting for a seminar to begin, a friend of mine, Mark Goldman, walked up and greeted me cheerfully and asked about the Benedictine cross hanging around my neck. "Are you still doing that Benedictine thing?" he wanted to know. Yes, I was. We fell into a conversation, and within minutes Mark announced his intention to become a Benedictine Oblate. Since then, both of us have discovered that our profession cross has been a wonderful conversation starter and witnessing tool - probably the best one we've ever found.
Well...Friday afternoon, I received a call from Br. Mark cheerfully announcing that while he was sitting in a meeting of addictions counselors that day, he had met someone else wearing a 'great big Benedictine cross'. Both cross-wearers eyed each other, beginning to put two and two together. After the meeting, Mark asked the other gentleman if he could talk to him a moment. He vows and declares that the first words out of the other mysterious person's mouth were, "I've already met Andy..."
With a laugh of recognition Mark met Ryan Connor, a young Church of Christ minister whom I have been talking to over the last year. Ryan had also heard me talk about Mark, and surmised that this other cross wearer must be he(he, he!). Mark and I and our spouses were to have our monthly dinner meeting at my house on Saturday, so an invitation was extended to Ryan and his lovely wife Shannon to join us for dinner and Compline. The six of us dined together pleasantly, laughed a lot and prayed Compline together. At this point Ryan is not quite ready to take the plunge and become a postulant - but we all had to agree that the whole thing was indeed a "God-incidence"!
Some three years ago, as I was sitting in the Charleston Civic center grand ballroom, waiting for a seminar to begin, a friend of mine, Mark Goldman, walked up and greeted me cheerfully and asked about the Benedictine cross hanging around my neck. "Are you still doing that Benedictine thing?" he wanted to know. Yes, I was. We fell into a conversation, and within minutes Mark announced his intention to become a Benedictine Oblate. Since then, both of us have discovered that our profession cross has been a wonderful conversation starter and witnessing tool - probably the best one we've ever found.
Well...Friday afternoon, I received a call from Br. Mark cheerfully announcing that while he was sitting in a meeting of addictions counselors that day, he had met someone else wearing a 'great big Benedictine cross'. Both cross-wearers eyed each other, beginning to put two and two together. After the meeting, Mark asked the other gentleman if he could talk to him a moment. He vows and declares that the first words out of the other mysterious person's mouth were, "I've already met Andy..."
With a laugh of recognition Mark met Ryan Connor, a young Church of Christ minister whom I have been talking to over the last year. Ryan had also heard me talk about Mark, and surmised that this other cross wearer must be he(he, he!). Mark and I and our spouses were to have our monthly dinner meeting at my house on Saturday, so an invitation was extended to Ryan and his lovely wife Shannon to join us for dinner and Compline. The six of us dined together pleasantly, laughed a lot and prayed Compline together. At this point Ryan is not quite ready to take the plunge and become a postulant - but we all had to agree that the whole thing was indeed a "God-incidence"!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Correction of Wrongdoing and The Rule
In Chapter Two of the Rule of Benedict we read how an Abbot or Abbess is to handle wrongdoing:
"A monastic superior should never show tolerance of wrongdoing, but as soon as it begins to grow should root it out completely to avoid the dangerous error of Eli, the priest of Shiloh. Any who are reliable and able to understand should be admonished by words on the first and second occasion; but those who are defiant and resistant in the pride of their disobedience will need to be corrected by corporal punishment at the very beginning of their evil course. It should be remembered that scripture says: a fool cannot be corrected by words alone; and again: strike your child with a rod whose soul will by this means be save from death." (trns. Patrick Barry OSB).
Again, in Chapter 24:
"If an individual in the community is defiant, disobedient, proud or given to murmuring or in any other way set in opposition to the holy Rule and contemptuous of traditions of the seniors, then we should follow the precept of our Lord. Such a one should be warned once and then twice in private by seniors. If there is now improvement, the warning should be followed by a severe public rebuke before the whole community. If even this does not bring reform then excommunication should be the next penalty, provided taht the meaning of suc a punishment is really understood. In a case of real defiance, corporal punishment may be the only cure." (Barry).
I find this passage to be relevant not only to the monastic setting, but to business, ecclesiatical matters and childrearing. Of course, corporal punishment is not appropriate in dealing with adults today - even in today's monasteries. Yet the underlying principle of quick confrontation with real and increasingly severe consequences is valuable.
A leader is often tempted to be lenient or soft, wanting to be popular or liked. This will simply not do. The reference to Eli is to a man who did not correct his sons These sons grew up to be priests who took advantage of the people to Eli's disgrace. So wrongdoing must be dealt with decisively.
In general we have two methods of asking people to change: persuasion and coercion. At first we remonstrate, then we use force. Benedict shows a complete understanding of this idea. He had the will and the courage to apply it, often with salutory results: namely the salvation of his monks.
At the time of this post, I am dealing with the wrongdoing of a friend. Naturally, I have very little to hold over his head, but I have confronted him boldly and I pray he will respond. If not, I must cut off contact with him until he repents. He will likely not understand this and think I am being unfair. But I must leave this to God to decide, and trust that my friend will change his behavior in all humility.
In Chapter Two of the Rule of Benedict we read how an Abbot or Abbess is to handle wrongdoing:
"A monastic superior should never show tolerance of wrongdoing, but as soon as it begins to grow should root it out completely to avoid the dangerous error of Eli, the priest of Shiloh. Any who are reliable and able to understand should be admonished by words on the first and second occasion; but those who are defiant and resistant in the pride of their disobedience will need to be corrected by corporal punishment at the very beginning of their evil course. It should be remembered that scripture says: a fool cannot be corrected by words alone; and again: strike your child with a rod whose soul will by this means be save from death." (trns. Patrick Barry OSB).
Again, in Chapter 24:
"If an individual in the community is defiant, disobedient, proud or given to murmuring or in any other way set in opposition to the holy Rule and contemptuous of traditions of the seniors, then we should follow the precept of our Lord. Such a one should be warned once and then twice in private by seniors. If there is now improvement, the warning should be followed by a severe public rebuke before the whole community. If even this does not bring reform then excommunication should be the next penalty, provided taht the meaning of suc a punishment is really understood. In a case of real defiance, corporal punishment may be the only cure." (Barry).
I find this passage to be relevant not only to the monastic setting, but to business, ecclesiatical matters and childrearing. Of course, corporal punishment is not appropriate in dealing with adults today - even in today's monasteries. Yet the underlying principle of quick confrontation with real and increasingly severe consequences is valuable.
A leader is often tempted to be lenient or soft, wanting to be popular or liked. This will simply not do. The reference to Eli is to a man who did not correct his sons These sons grew up to be priests who took advantage of the people to Eli's disgrace. So wrongdoing must be dealt with decisively.
In general we have two methods of asking people to change: persuasion and coercion. At first we remonstrate, then we use force. Benedict shows a complete understanding of this idea. He had the will and the courage to apply it, often with salutory results: namely the salvation of his monks.
At the time of this post, I am dealing with the wrongdoing of a friend. Naturally, I have very little to hold over his head, but I have confronted him boldly and I pray he will respond. If not, I must cut off contact with him until he repents. He will likely not understand this and think I am being unfair. But I must leave this to God to decide, and trust that my friend will change his behavior in all humility.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Trip to Chil
January 6, 2006, Epiphany
Grace to you and Peace in the Name of our Precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Email is such a wonderful thing! As Abbot of the Company of Jesus, I get messages from exotic places like: Spain, , Saudi Arabia, Nova Scotia, Uruguay, Columbia,…and Chilé! I’m thankful for “IM Translator”, which allows instant, but somewhat amusing translations such as the following:
“…I am not an ambitious man. I am simple in end and live very austerely. I do not smoke,… have no license to drive, so that I always walk,take the Bus or the bicycle. I fast every day of the week, cheerfully and offer my fastings for... my spiritual children… especially I am a man who loves with passion and madness Christ”
That quote came from Dr. Patricio Robles, a missionary bishop of our denomination who lives in Chilé and is also Abbot of the Orden Benedictina in South America. Patricio and I share a passion for Christ and for making disciples. We also find ourselves living out something that the September 2005 issue of Christianity Today called “The New Monasticism”, in which ancient spiritual practices are being applied to ‘remonk’ the church and minister to the world.
Most people today conceive of monks as living off away from the world, praying and fasting day and night. But historically, monasteries have been evangelistic and retreat centers, hospitals, soup kitchens, and farms in addition to being places of prayer. A famous Benedictine motto is “Ora et Labora”: “Pray and Work”. And over the past 1700 years, while monks and nuns have often lived in remote settings, they have also attracted the world to their doors and thus to Christ. The result has been that our culture has been affected profoundly by monastics, even if we have forgotten how along the way. Now, just as Christianity Today observes, it would appear that the Lord desires to use an old form, monasticism, to reach out to the poor and needy in a new way.
Abbot +Patricio has invited the Company of Jesus, a “Third Order” group of folks not living in community, to help him build a monastic community in Chilé. An invitation has also been extended for me to visit the brothers in Chile and help them build their new house. Here is +Particio’s colorful description of the project:
“It will be… a magnificent abbey to receive crowds of brothers: Romans, Anglican, pentecostales and anyone who looks with sincere heart for God. This seed of dollars, it will germinate in my hands as you himself cannot imagine even and they will be miraculously multiplied by God.”
I believe with all my heart that the Lord is calling me to this work. By His grace, I will travel to Chilé February 10-20 and strap on a tool belt to help “remonk” God’s church for such a time as this in order to raise up for Him continual praise, and to reach out to the poor, the lonely and the captive (Is.61:1ff). One of the things I fully expect God to do is to create a two-way street between us and our South American brothers. Giving and receiving spiritual gifts and help is the basic pattern of Kingdom Life. I think it is possible that they may eventually help us create a house here in the USA. Since God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can think or ask, (Eph. 3:20) anything could happen - indeed it already has! I am convinced that He has something wonderful in mind.
I hope to blog my trip if I have access to a computer there. Stay tuned for more!
January 6, 2006, Epiphany
Grace to you and Peace in the Name of our Precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
Email is such a wonderful thing! As Abbot of the Company of Jesus, I get messages from exotic places like: Spain, , Saudi Arabia, Nova Scotia, Uruguay, Columbia,…and Chilé! I’m thankful for “IM Translator”, which allows instant, but somewhat amusing translations such as the following:
“…I am not an ambitious man. I am simple in end and live very austerely. I do not smoke,… have no license to drive, so that I always walk,take the Bus or the bicycle. I fast every day of the week, cheerfully and offer my fastings for... my spiritual children… especially I am a man who loves with passion and madness Christ”
That quote came from Dr. Patricio Robles, a missionary bishop of our denomination who lives in Chilé and is also Abbot of the Orden Benedictina in South America. Patricio and I share a passion for Christ and for making disciples. We also find ourselves living out something that the September 2005 issue of Christianity Today called “The New Monasticism”, in which ancient spiritual practices are being applied to ‘remonk’ the church and minister to the world.
Most people today conceive of monks as living off away from the world, praying and fasting day and night. But historically, monasteries have been evangelistic and retreat centers, hospitals, soup kitchens, and farms in addition to being places of prayer. A famous Benedictine motto is “Ora et Labora”: “Pray and Work”. And over the past 1700 years, while monks and nuns have often lived in remote settings, they have also attracted the world to their doors and thus to Christ. The result has been that our culture has been affected profoundly by monastics, even if we have forgotten how along the way. Now, just as Christianity Today observes, it would appear that the Lord desires to use an old form, monasticism, to reach out to the poor and needy in a new way.
Abbot +Patricio has invited the Company of Jesus, a “Third Order” group of folks not living in community, to help him build a monastic community in Chilé. An invitation has also been extended for me to visit the brothers in Chile and help them build their new house. Here is +Particio’s colorful description of the project:
“It will be… a magnificent abbey to receive crowds of brothers: Romans, Anglican, pentecostales and anyone who looks with sincere heart for God. This seed of dollars, it will germinate in my hands as you himself cannot imagine even and they will be miraculously multiplied by God.”
I believe with all my heart that the Lord is calling me to this work. By His grace, I will travel to Chilé February 10-20 and strap on a tool belt to help “remonk” God’s church for such a time as this in order to raise up for Him continual praise, and to reach out to the poor, the lonely and the captive (Is.61:1ff). One of the things I fully expect God to do is to create a two-way street between us and our South American brothers. Giving and receiving spiritual gifts and help is the basic pattern of Kingdom Life. I think it is possible that they may eventually help us create a house here in the USA. Since God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can think or ask, (Eph. 3:20) anything could happen - indeed it already has! I am convinced that He has something wonderful in mind.
I hope to blog my trip if I have access to a computer there. Stay tuned for more!
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Incarnation
When we open ourselves to Christ, we begin the process of becoming Aware of and transformed into the image of Christ. We also start to become Aware of the central Mystery of our faith: that God Himself took on human flesh and dwelt among us! This is Incarnation: the Master of the Universe did not despise his creation, and so deigned to sanctify the human body by bringing it up into the Godhead in an amazing and incomprehensible act of Love. But not only did the Savior become a Man, He also sent the Comforter, another helper just like Him, to indwell us. This too is incarnation. We, by entering in to the Kingdom, become "inGoded", partakers of the divine nature as Scripture says (II Pet.1:4). Each one of us as Christians now becomes an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual reality -- that is, sacrament. Our lives and bodies themselves become sacred symbols of the God reality within.
When we open ourselves to Christ, we begin the process of becoming Aware of and transformed into the image of Christ. We also start to become Aware of the central Mystery of our faith: that God Himself took on human flesh and dwelt among us! This is Incarnation: the Master of the Universe did not despise his creation, and so deigned to sanctify the human body by bringing it up into the Godhead in an amazing and incomprehensible act of Love. But not only did the Savior become a Man, He also sent the Comforter, another helper just like Him, to indwell us. This too is incarnation. We, by entering in to the Kingdom, become "inGoded", partakers of the divine nature as Scripture says (II Pet.1:4). Each one of us as Christians now becomes an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual reality -- that is, sacrament. Our lives and bodies themselves become sacred symbols of the God reality within.
Invitation
The great Invitation of Benedictine spirituality is not to run away from the world and its responsibilities, but to become quiet long enough and listen carefully enough to find a new sense of balance in Christ. Anne Morrow Lindbergh, in her book, Gift from the Sea says, " I cannot be a nun in the midst of family life. I would not want to be. The solution for me, surely, is neither in total renunciation of the world, not in total acceptance of it. I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes: a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, retreat and return. In my periods of retreat, perhaps I can learn something to carry back into my worldly life." (pg. 30)
So the Invitation goes out: Come and learn something from the Rule of Benedict to carry back into your current life situations, especially those related to personal healing. Come and experience life as a "Barefoot Soul - Alert, Awake, Grateful, and only Partially at Home"(Joan Chittster).
The great Invitation of Benedictine spirituality is not to run away from the world and its responsibilities, but to become quiet long enough and listen carefully enough to find a new sense of balance in Christ. Anne Morrow Lindbergh, in her book, Gift from the Sea says, " I cannot be a nun in the midst of family life. I would not want to be. The solution for me, surely, is neither in total renunciation of the world, not in total acceptance of it. I must find a balance somewhere, or an alternating rhythm between these two extremes: a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, retreat and return. In my periods of retreat, perhaps I can learn something to carry back into my worldly life." (pg. 30)
So the Invitation goes out: Come and learn something from the Rule of Benedict to carry back into your current life situations, especially those related to personal healing. Come and experience life as a "Barefoot Soul - Alert, Awake, Grateful, and only Partially at Home"(Joan Chittster).
The Paradox of Emotional Healing and the Rule
We are faced with a paradox. Our question is how the Rule guides us into personal healing, but in some ways this is actually counter to the spirit of the Rule. In chapter 4, Benedict lists one of the instruments of good works as "To deny oneself in order to follow Christ." Anglican commentator on the Rule Esther deWaal says, "The goal of my life is not self-fulfilment....My goal is Christ." Catholic theologian Dietrich von Hildebrand puts it this way: "True personality is not a goal worthy in itself...The criterion for determining whether a man is a true personality in the ultimate sense is found in his longing for God as the highest good..." Finally, Scripture tells us "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Mt. 6:33).
To seek one's life is to lose it, but to Seek the Lord is gain all things. (Mt.10:34;16:25)
We are faced with a paradox. Our question is how the Rule guides us into personal healing, but in some ways this is actually counter to the spirit of the Rule. In chapter 4, Benedict lists one of the instruments of good works as "To deny oneself in order to follow Christ." Anglican commentator on the Rule Esther deWaal says, "The goal of my life is not self-fulfilment....My goal is Christ." Catholic theologian Dietrich von Hildebrand puts it this way: "True personality is not a goal worthy in itself...The criterion for determining whether a man is a true personality in the ultimate sense is found in his longing for God as the highest good..." Finally, Scripture tells us "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." (Mt. 6:33).
To seek one's life is to lose it, but to Seek the Lord is gain all things. (Mt.10:34;16:25)
Vows and Psychological Healing
The Benedictine monastic devotes him or herself to a lifelong journey of service characterized by Obedience, Stability and "Conversatio Morum", or continual change and growth. To modern ears and eyes, these vows seem all but incomprehensible. Yet the Rule has remained alive because it creates an almost ideal structure for spiritual and personal growth. Indeed, wherever the Rule has been followed, there has been great revival among its adherents. To a post-modern world, disillusioned with materialism and technocracy, open to mystical transcendent experiences, the Rule has a uniquely contemporary appeal.
Not the least of The Rule's appeal is its attractiveness as a guide for psychological healing. As a therapist, I look for the quality of readiness, or Conversatio in my clients. If one is not open to change, wants to excuse his actions or blame someone else, therapy is usually futile and frustrating for all involved. However, if openness to change is present, if one has determined to remain stable in the face of the current crisis, and has a mindset of obedience to Christ, then therapy becomes a rewarding and even amazing process of growth and development. Not surprisingly, these are the very characteristics that Benedict requires of his monks: Obedience, Stability and Conversatio Morum.
The Benedictine monastic devotes him or herself to a lifelong journey of service characterized by Obedience, Stability and "Conversatio Morum", or continual change and growth. To modern ears and eyes, these vows seem all but incomprehensible. Yet the Rule has remained alive because it creates an almost ideal structure for spiritual and personal growth. Indeed, wherever the Rule has been followed, there has been great revival among its adherents. To a post-modern world, disillusioned with materialism and technocracy, open to mystical transcendent experiences, the Rule has a uniquely contemporary appeal.
Not the least of The Rule's appeal is its attractiveness as a guide for psychological healing. As a therapist, I look for the quality of readiness, or Conversatio in my clients. If one is not open to change, wants to excuse his actions or blame someone else, therapy is usually futile and frustrating for all involved. However, if openness to change is present, if one has determined to remain stable in the face of the current crisis, and has a mindset of obedience to Christ, then therapy becomes a rewarding and even amazing process of growth and development. Not surprisingly, these are the very characteristics that Benedict requires of his monks: Obedience, Stability and Conversatio Morum.
“A Chicken Enchilada Changed My Life”
It was, of course, what happened while I was eating the enchilada. On September 27, 1995 I was having lunch with my friend, Fr. Pete Turner, listening to him talk about a retreat he had recently attended. Over lunch, Pete described how retreat participants had experienced the daily pattern of a Benedictine monastery, and discussed ways of applying Benedictine spirituality to one's workaday life. As an outpatient Christian Therapist for Thomas Memorial Hospital, I recognized that the Rule of St. Benedict, originally written to guide the communal life of monastics, could be become the basis for a collaborative treatment program housed in a local church. The core values of Stability, Obedience, and Ongoing Conversion which undergird the Rule would create an ideal atmosphere for personal growth and healing.
Fr. Pete put me in touch with David Green, the rector of St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Charleston, and together we developed the Eighth Day Life Center, an intense program of counseling and spiritual direction based on the Rule of Benedict. Over the next two years we led some seventy-five souls through an eight-day course of prayer and emotional healing. It was an experience that profoundly transformed my own spiritual life and ministry.
Growing up in the Methodist church nothing could have been farther off my radar screen than Benedictine monks. Like many teens of the 1970’s I rejected the church in favor of other avenues such as Yoga, meditation and drug use. Looking back now, I can see that there was an interest in contemplative spirituality, but that I wasn’t aware of any Christian expression of it at the time. So I spent my teen years searching, and finally through the influence of my wife and a philosophy course, had a dramatic Christian conversion at age 20. Completing my undergraduate psychology degree at Marshall in 1979, I went on to study counseling and theology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, graduating with an MA in Counseling Psychology in 1985.
My professional career has taken me into many different types of treatment settings, including private practice, working with Cancer patients, inpatient psychiatric units, and for the last 14 years, outpatient Christian counseling. My family has also been very tolerant as I have searched through various Christian streams: Evangelical, Charismatic and Liturgical. The continuing thread has always been the quest for healing of head and heart.
In 2001, friends from Eighth Day introduced me to the Communion of Evangelical Episcopal Churches, an Anglican “Convergence” group blending together the Evangelical, Pentecostal, and Catholic traditions, challenging me to consider pursuing ordination as a priest. (The enchilada was leading very far afield indeed!) Through listening carefully, I “discerned the call” and was ordained to the priesthood in 2002. One further step led me back into the Benedictine sphere, but now with a new twist.
Fr. Mark Camp, a newly ordained member of our denomination, introduced me to a religious order called the Company of Jesus. All the members were “Third Order” types, living in the world and practicing their spirituality in the midst of their daily lives. Mark had become a Franciscan, but the Company of Jesus also had a Benedictine chapter. This appealed to me very much, and after another discernment process, I made my own profession as a Benedictine in July of 2002. Last year, I was elected Abbot of the Company of Jesus.
As Abbot, my job is to help new aspirants discern their calling to our Order, oversee the work of our Vocation Directors, and lead formation retreats. My email comes from all over the world, and I am constantly amazed and humbled to see how so many diverse kinds of people desire to commit themselves to a deeper level of Christian discipleship. I continue my work as a counselor and I believe my Benedictine walk has helped me to better understand my client’s spiritual development, and to enable them to relate their spirituality to the resolution of emotional and interpersonal problems.
The journey has been incredible, and I wouldn’t trade a moment of it, but I warn you:
Be careful of enchiladas;you never know where they will take you! I close with the collect of an abbot found in the Alternative Service Book of the Anglican Communion:
“Almighty God, by whose grace St. Benedict, kindled with the fire of your love, became a burning and a shining light in the church: inflame us with the same spirit of discipline and love, that we may walk before you as children of light; through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Amen.
It was, of course, what happened while I was eating the enchilada. On September 27, 1995 I was having lunch with my friend, Fr. Pete Turner, listening to him talk about a retreat he had recently attended. Over lunch, Pete described how retreat participants had experienced the daily pattern of a Benedictine monastery, and discussed ways of applying Benedictine spirituality to one's workaday life. As an outpatient Christian Therapist for Thomas Memorial Hospital, I recognized that the Rule of St. Benedict, originally written to guide the communal life of monastics, could be become the basis for a collaborative treatment program housed in a local church. The core values of Stability, Obedience, and Ongoing Conversion which undergird the Rule would create an ideal atmosphere for personal growth and healing.
Fr. Pete put me in touch with David Green, the rector of St. Luke’s Episcopal Church in Charleston, and together we developed the Eighth Day Life Center, an intense program of counseling and spiritual direction based on the Rule of Benedict. Over the next two years we led some seventy-five souls through an eight-day course of prayer and emotional healing. It was an experience that profoundly transformed my own spiritual life and ministry.
Growing up in the Methodist church nothing could have been farther off my radar screen than Benedictine monks. Like many teens of the 1970’s I rejected the church in favor of other avenues such as Yoga, meditation and drug use. Looking back now, I can see that there was an interest in contemplative spirituality, but that I wasn’t aware of any Christian expression of it at the time. So I spent my teen years searching, and finally through the influence of my wife and a philosophy course, had a dramatic Christian conversion at age 20. Completing my undergraduate psychology degree at Marshall in 1979, I went on to study counseling and theology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, graduating with an MA in Counseling Psychology in 1985.
My professional career has taken me into many different types of treatment settings, including private practice, working with Cancer patients, inpatient psychiatric units, and for the last 14 years, outpatient Christian counseling. My family has also been very tolerant as I have searched through various Christian streams: Evangelical, Charismatic and Liturgical. The continuing thread has always been the quest for healing of head and heart.
In 2001, friends from Eighth Day introduced me to the Communion of Evangelical Episcopal Churches, an Anglican “Convergence” group blending together the Evangelical, Pentecostal, and Catholic traditions, challenging me to consider pursuing ordination as a priest. (The enchilada was leading very far afield indeed!) Through listening carefully, I “discerned the call” and was ordained to the priesthood in 2002. One further step led me back into the Benedictine sphere, but now with a new twist.
Fr. Mark Camp, a newly ordained member of our denomination, introduced me to a religious order called the Company of Jesus. All the members were “Third Order” types, living in the world and practicing their spirituality in the midst of their daily lives. Mark had become a Franciscan, but the Company of Jesus also had a Benedictine chapter. This appealed to me very much, and after another discernment process, I made my own profession as a Benedictine in July of 2002. Last year, I was elected Abbot of the Company of Jesus.
As Abbot, my job is to help new aspirants discern their calling to our Order, oversee the work of our Vocation Directors, and lead formation retreats. My email comes from all over the world, and I am constantly amazed and humbled to see how so many diverse kinds of people desire to commit themselves to a deeper level of Christian discipleship. I continue my work as a counselor and I believe my Benedictine walk has helped me to better understand my client’s spiritual development, and to enable them to relate their spirituality to the resolution of emotional and interpersonal problems.
The journey has been incredible, and I wouldn’t trade a moment of it, but I warn you:
Be careful of enchiladas;you never know where they will take you! I close with the collect of an abbot found in the Alternative Service Book of the Anglican Communion:
“Almighty God, by whose grace St. Benedict, kindled with the fire of your love, became a burning and a shining light in the church: inflame us with the same spirit of discipline and love, that we may walk before you as children of light; through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)