Woman Loves Man, Is Surprised

Yesterday, a female staff member at work asked me to pray for a man she had been dating. This man was highly intelligent, talented and witty, but he also seems to have quite the ego. “Would I”, she asked, “Pray for him to receive some humility?”

A chuckled a bit, but before I could respond she went on to tell me more about the relationship: how she had been corresponding and talking to this man for many months, how she had met him for a very enjoyable weekend, but also how he had infuriated her with several offensive ‘know-it-all’ comments that had finally caused her to back off the relationship.

Strangely, however, after several months of not communicating with him, there was something about this man she couldn’t put out of her heart and mind. She felt she really loved him, despite his masculine arrogance, and that he had really spurred her to become a better person. Moreover, she was beginning to realize that she was really expecting too much out of a man - that a big ego usually comes with the kind of talent and intelligence she expects in her ideal mate. Not only that but there is even something good and desirable about the “undesirable” masculine traits. Namely, that they crash up against her own feminine self-righteousness and provoke change and self-examination within her. There is something complementary and even cosmic about the differences which is to be respected and embraced, even when one is exasperated about it.

The conversation was something of a revelation to me. It was like watching a flower unfold. This woman who had been divorced and single for some 20 years, had spent those years in angry reaction against unbridled masculine power and insensitivity. Yet, here she was, after all this time, coming to the realization that to have a real relationship means accepting a real man, masculinity and all. There is a divine challenge built into the differences between the sexes, which if embraced, leads to growth and development in both man and woman.

“I feel like I’m only about an inch or so away from getting it,” she confided, measuring the distance with her thumb and first finger. “ And by the way, I suppose I’m really asking you to pray for me,” she said with a smile of self-awareness”. To me, my friend is a feminist coming full circle, a hurt woman who has grown far enough to realize she’s up to the challenge of living and loving a man – masculinity and all.