If for some reason Mom or Dad are dangerous, abusive, neglectful, or in some way fail to balance Love and Boundaries, the whole process of emotional development can go awry and instead of attaching securely, separating, and individuating, the child creates defensive barriers against the parents and gets stuck:
DETACH →→→// DEFENSIVE BARRIERS//→→→ STUCK
The symbols of parental love become distorted, resulting in "Symbolic Confusion".
Chronologically and biologically, the child continues to grow but the stuck place remains lodged right where the trauma occurred, waiting for a safer day to resurface. There may be many of these stuck places in a person's heart, spread out over the lifespan at different ages. In a real sense, these places are not in the past because they have not been successfully integrated into the person's life history as an acknowledged part of "me". Rather they remain like open files in a computer system -- running but hidden behind other work. Until these files are accessed, integrated into "my history" and closed, they are still very much Present to the person and there is no deep sense of Blessing.
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