Marrying to fulfill Unmet Needs

If a couple marries to fulfill the unmet need for blessing, they soon discover that they're not getting the blessing and are not likely ever to get it. They begin to panic and often divorce within several years. If they endure past the critical 5 -7 year mark however, they can usually struggle along for nine or ten more years. Why? Because they're usually so busy raising kids, they don't have time to deal with these issues in any concerted way. But after 16 - 18 years of married life, the children have grown up enough that they don't require such constant care, and one or both of the partners begins to look around and ask if they are happy or not. At age 35-40, it's starting to get late in the game, but not too late to fantasize about finding someone who can actually give us what we want. The open files start asserting themselves, and when our spouse or lover proves unable to resolve and close them for us, we begin to look around for someone who we think can help us.